Unattainability
Why are people attracted to what they can't have? Is it solely because they can't have it? The prospect of the unattainable person? What is so desirable about someone you can never have?
It's hard for me to understand. Back in the day, I had crushes on people that were "out of my league" so to speak, but I never considered them "unattainable". I just didn't TRY. I didn't NEED love. I didn't crave or desire to have it, so I didn't strive for anyone. It's natural to like someone because they're good looking. Even though I felt an affinity towards someone, or took a particular liking, I never liked them for their unattainability. I liked them because of how they looked and how we had similar interests, etc.
People talk about liking teachers/professors, actors/actresses, someone in a different social circle, someone in a different age-group, and one of the characteristics I've heard commonly among the descriptions of these such people is how wonderful they are because they can't be had.
Maybe it's because I don't feel like I need something that I don't already have. Or that I just don't care enough. Either way, the idea of it perplexes me. Can someone astutely inform me as to what's so desirable about the unattainable person?
Just stating "it's because I can't have them" doesn't explain it enough for me. I want to know why someone you can't ever have would be remotely desirable.
posted by Dingus @ 4:53 PM
3 Comments:
ARWEN?
Uh, yeah, it's me.
And your thoughts on my post? ...Heh.
Thanks for your detailed input, Evan. You've got some solid ideas, I WOULD like to discuss this further sometime. Maybe at Painting class Wednesday? And for the most part, I can follow and understand what you're saying. However, I disgree that EVERYONE grows tired and sick of things that they've obtained. If that were the case, every single marriage would end after five or less years.
In a lot of ways, I believe people are naturally in a state of flux. Whether you think you know someone or not is irrelevant because they're always changing. If you get bored of them, it's because you haven't gotten to know them well enough to see their state of flux. But then again, it also matters on what mindframe you're in when you enter a relationship. If you're in it solely for sexual satisfaction, yeah you'll grow bored once you've fulfilled the fantasy.
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