Exert from Northanger Abbey

He talked with fluency and spirit -- and there was an archness and pleasantry in his manner which interested, though it was hardly understood by her. After chatting some time on such matters as naturally arose from the objects around them, he suddenly addressed her with - 'I have hitherto been very remiss, madam, in the proper attentions of a partner here; I have not yet asked you how long you have been in Bath; whether you were ever here before; whether you have been at the Upper Rooms, the theatre, and the concert; and how you like the place altogether. I have been very negligent - but are you now at leisure to satisfy me in these particulars? If you are I will begin directly.'
'You need not give yourself that trouble, sir.'
'No trouble, I assure you madam.' Then forming his features into a set smile, and affectedly softening his voice, he added with a simpering air, 'Have you been long in Bath, madam?'
'About a week, sir,' replied Catherine, trying not to laugh.
'Really!' with affected astonishment.
'Why should you be surprised, sir?'
'Why indeed?' said he, in his natural tone - 'but some emotion must appear to be raised by your reply, and surprise is more easily assumed, and not less reasonable than any other. - Now let us go on. Were you never here before, madam?'
'Never, sir.'
'Indeed! Have you yet honored the Upper Rooms?'
'Yes, sir, I was there last Monday.'
'Have you been to the theatre?'
'Yes, sir, I was at the play on Tuesday.'
'To the concerts?'
'Yes, sir on Wednesday.'
'And are you altogether pleased with Bath?'
'Yes - I like it very well.'
'Now I must give one smirk, and then we may be rational again.'
Catherine turned away her head, not knowing whether she might venture a laugh.
'I see what you think of me,' said he gravely - 'I shall make but a poor figure in your journal to-morrow.'
'My journal!'
'Yes, I know exactly what you will say: Friday, went to the Lower Rooms; wore my sprigged muslin robe with blue trimmings - plain black shoes - appeared to much advantage; but was strangely harassed by a queer half-witted man, who would make me dance with him, and distressed me by his nonsense.'
'Indeed I shall say no such thing.'
'Shall I tell you what you ought to say?'
'If you please.'
'I danced with a very agreeable young man, introduced by Mr King; had a great deal of conversation with him - seems a most extraordinary genius - hope I may know more of him. That, madam, is what I wish you to say.'
'But, perhaps, I keep no journal.'
'Perhaps you are not sitting in this room, and I am not sitting by you. These are points in which a doubt is equally possible. Not keep a journal! How are your dear cousins to understand the tenor of your life in Bath without one? How are the civilities and compliments of every day to be related as they ought to be, unless noted down every evening in a journal? How are your various dresses to be remembered, and the particular state of your complexion, and curl of your hair to be described in their diversities, without having constant recourse to a journal? - My dear madam, I am not so ignorant of young ladies' ways as you wish to believe me; it is this delightful habit of journalising which largely contributes to form the easy style of writing for which ladies are so generally celebrated. Everybody allows that the talent of writing agreeable letters is peculiarly female. Nature may have done something, but I am sure it must be essentially assisted by the practice of keeping a journal.'

Oh, Jane Austen, you illustrate a character that has stolen my heart away before even reaching page sixteen. Where shall I find a man such as this? I will scour the globe for his precious and delectable mind that may fascinate me unto my grave.