the encouraging smell

Sugar-sweet lapping rain,
Coiled in a cloud, tapping
from the drain
In my face, touching
aching open eyes.
Saturated roof tiles.
Oh, how I love you.
Oh, how the texture
of your lips
and my palms
and fingertips,
scraping
against
the tiles.

For the first time
I feel the pain and
I hold no satisfaction.
So I pull away, away;

Tap, tap, tap the rain
Filling up, up, up my
face
- No - yours, yes, yours
You look scared. You are
so scared. You love to
hurt
But this time, this time
the pain is unsatisfactory.

I'm sorry.
No, I'm not
Actually...
Down, down in the street
the water accum-accumulates.

I thought you were
tired.
I thought I was too.
I lied to you, but
I lied to myself too.

Along the corridor, past
residents hiding behind
thin, straight, black hair.
Arians. Fake pedestrians.
I wish I could crush the
petty nutmeg from your-

raining, pouring, draining
- the facet is off. Now
it refuses to turn back
on again.

On and on again.
The smell of dirt and worms
clutters nostrils, the rain,
oh God how it lightens
my dampened spirit.

You're gone.
You've left.

I reflected.
It was hard.
Harder than
I thought it
would ever
be.

But you're okay.

So I will be too.
Eventually.
Eventually.
Not now;
but I
anticipate
I will be

(soon) no
later

never.