Insect infiltration

My head's hurt all day. Not to such an extent as to drive me into a room without light or sound, but it's been consistent. I've taken pain killers and drank enough water to satisfy squadrens of arthritic sweat-plastered athletes, but it remains: pulsing, throbbing, gnawing at the edge of my mind.

I've come to a logical conclusion. During the night a pregnant female spider deposited her egg sac into my nasal cavity. A fly, encouraged by the spider's confidence, also stashed her unborn spawn inside. Since last night, my nose has incubated the eggs and hatched maggots. The God forsaken larvae have been irritating my nasal passages and given me a perpetual headache. It makes sense, you know... I woke up in the middle of the night with a stomach ache. No doubt that was the result of swallowing a maggot or two. Soon enough I'll have spiders crawling out of my nose.

I don't expect my arachniphobic boyfriend to be calling me and requesting company anytime soon. :\