I love Maximus

and I'm happy to be home.

How are you today, honestly?

I know I'm changing and I know you are too. I know when you look at me you don't see the someone you're used to. I feel the same way when I look at you, but fundamentally we hold within us a core that is unchangeable. Many, many aspects of ourselves evolve and transform around that core, but the seeds were sown a long time ago. They will age with us however, the shape will essentially stay the same. There will be innumerable moments when we'll question their true form, but that doesn't mean they've changed beyond recognition.

A pessimist may gain attributes of an optimist, but they will carry pessimism with them their entire lives. The same goes for the contrary. Our opinions will be altered by our company as they will be affected by us, but we are still individuals.

Change is difficult to comprehend and accept, but I'm eager to get to know the person you are now, as different as it may be from the person I knew you to be a year ago. You will always be my friend. As much as your perspective may have changed since yesterday, I will always want to spend these precious moments gaining insight into the unique and respectable person you have become.

In case of point, I will always be a sap. Toronto will never harden my core.

Bears on Bananas on my Driveway

Uh... it seemed like a good idea at the time.

I'm considering going downtown on a day off to draw to pass time and hope that people will give me quarters for chalking the street. I doubt it'd work but it'd be fun.

Pay attention, it all matters.

I found this in a random file on my desktop:

I had a dream and in it my family and I were in a different country. I was going down a slide into an indoor pool filled with colored plastic balls. I saw Aaron Scholz and stopped to talk with him, while we spoke my brother was executed. I was in denial until I later found his shirt. 'No Guilt, No Guilt' was silkscreened on it in bold, light-blue letters. Then I started screaming.

Ninja tactics.

While preparing myself for the plane to take off I felt anxiety creep into my system. The actual flying is fine for me, but it's the immediate lift-off that makes my body momentarily go 'wtf'. So I imagined that I was a ninja and responsible for everyone's well-being and safety on the aircraft. If people were to panic or feel anxious I'd be there to console them. The newfound responsibility actually calmed me significantly. I needed to be confident! It was for the good of mankind!

Arwen: "Don't worry guys... I'm a ninja."

And now I'm home. LET'S HANG OUT AND PLAY TAG.

I love being in love.

My feet hurt and for the first time ever my heart is sore for two opposing things simultaneously. I'm pining after Saskatoon while aching for Oakville before I've even left it. I wonder where I'll be in four years, but in the meantime I'm going to finish packing and anticipate sharing sunshine and slurpies with you soon.

He swallowed my heart whole,

he didn't take the time to chew.

The horizon blushes in light of you.

All the urban lover cared for was pendants, belt buckles, and the raw aftertaste of a kiss in the precipitate approach of dawn.

She is an anomaly, wise yet smiling.

I know a woman who is powerful, intelligent, and kind. She possesses an iron will and a discreet sensitivity that underlies it all. Imbued in her is a knack for leadership – a sensible authority wrought in confidence and discretion. It has enabled her to wield an admirable job title. She is a successful career woman. She is independent and strong. She carries with her a fire that I hope flourishes in coming generations. She is my mother, and there is no end to my admiration and love for her. Someday I hope to emulate her victory and passion for life. I would like to make an iota of an impression on my children that she has made upon me. My mother is my role model and she always will be.

We live for these moments,

these moments when everything in the world coincides with how we feel, think and act. You put all your passion and love forward. And here, on this paper are the scratched marks of someone acknowledging your fire. It's humbling, it's fulfilling: it's everything it should be and more. Life is fucking glorious. It doesn't get much better than this.

The cut off was 68 this year. 68+ were accepted and anything between 63 and 67 was put on a waiting list (if academic requirements were met as well).

This is surreal. I made the cut by twenty whole marks.

Dear reader,

I am very happy; I hope you are too.
I will be seeing you very soon.
Please know that I'll always love you.

(Is it too late for elementary poetry?)

The nature of yellow

Bananas & idiodine.

You are my heart.

I can't wait to come home to you. I'll see the prairie splay of stars reflecting on your silent eyes. We'll laugh at the way the sun plays games through the lazy boughs of weeping birches. Sidewalk chalk will make us sneeze as the westerly wind will chase it up our sunlit noses. Cold beer will subdue our restless spirits on sultry summer nights.

I simply can't wait to come home and be in your company again.

Last Summer's Happenstance

6/11 7:05pm: Dangling walruses gulp up tea-drinking baboons.

6/13 9:49pm: Awe-stricken, Jerry could only gawk as the flamingos devoured the intruding gazelle.

7/01 10:55pm: Walruses eat tomatoes under the July moonshine.

7/04 8:14am: Moth cocoons carried pandas and penguins through Calgary until a disgruntled samurai frowned and said, "Terrible giraffe report--your breasts are disappointing."

7/29 12:44pm: The trees spoke today. They told me you're reflective this afternoon. Do they lie or tell the truth?

I don't want what they want anymore.

A bench of iron sits in my stomach like lead
Screaming seagulls throw their wings against my skull
They wheel and writhe and wander through my head
The gears in my fingers creak with agedness
It feels arthritic and I'm the tender age of twenty;
The bittersweet herbs of passion form ruins.

A window is stuck at the flank of my brain
His fingers tap the ledge of it, tentative,
My window is stuck fast. It won't open.

He sighs and amplifies the current situation
I want to kill him then, I want to do him in.
Instead we ride the sidewalk with our shoes
In solemn regard we discuss important issues.

I can't bear the flocks as they whirl and turn.
Their storming causes me incredible concern.
But they're stuck inside my head as the iron
Grates inside my belly, causing an ugly fire'n
My gear-oriented digits are sore and are worn—

My seagulls soar high with abject demur
He tugs on my window with likewise vigor
I want to kill him again, I want to do him in.
I take a corner fast as my window flies open
I stop for thirty-two seconds. I turn on my axis,
Liquid war pours from my every orifice
I consume him entirely, wholly heartless.

Let me love you baby, let me love you.

If you look at me the right way I almost look like Spock.

Live long and prosper, my friends.

I believe in the power in you.

You feel insufficient to the world
Distant, cold, and sodden with uncertainty
You don't know who you are or how you belong.
It's hard to know what's right or wrong,
When everything is so sensitive and wanton.

Before you turn your back on everything--
Before you give up; feel my cold hand on yours
Turn to me and the world and your life,
Let me say, 'I believe in the power in you.'
Then all you have left to do is believe me.