Blackfield

A million different spirits possess me (sail the ocean, eat a human being, dance until your heels ache for rest, choose another cup of coffee, acknowledge Brahman, burn the bridges down). They claim me one by one. I'm thrown down a different road every time: each more rugged and torn than the last. Every spirit contains boundless craving for a different purpose. I've lost myself in the torrents. I know you're concerned and you can see remnants of me beyond the eyes of another, but your life is too complicated to guide me back to where I should be. We're both too occupied to care. I'm driven in ceaseless yearning, the strength of the spirits surpassing my own. You swallow your spirits. I absorb mine. We swing in inebriation, disregarding the rest of reality for the sake of a new night and a fresh possession. Somebody else is conquering the world and using my body as a vehicle. I won't take credit for my success.

Who am I today? Will I crave your tongue tonight? Will I jump off a bridge to feel what it's like to crack my skin open on the water? Do you see violence behind my smiling eyes; a sadistic grimace, does it blemish my gentle grin? Clasp my cold hand. Let's devour humanity for the last time tonight. Tomorrow I'll put a bullet in my head, or maybe eat some cold porridge. What would be more pleasing to you? I wonder if that warm, metallic taste would taste better inside the coagulated oatmeal. Let's try to kill each other tomorrow. Afterwards, we'll help out at a shelter and save some souls from their miserable lives. I can't wait to see them smile with gratitude.

I like your eyes when they're burning (when you're crying or is it because your angry?). You're seething and spitting at me. Ah, the latter tends to be true so much of the time. I smile and take your tightly wound fist. My laughing mouth consumes your clenched jaw. It's raw in the rain. I wish it were raining harder. Sorry to frustrate you, but it's time for me to go now. You'll force yourself to forget because it hurts too much to remember and regret (the things you've done? the things you haven't done? the things you should've done...)