"Suck my Viking."

I love my family a lot. I talk with my mom and brother several times a week, generally for an hour or more each conversation. You'd be surprised, my brother and I average an hour when we're on the phone together. Tonight we briefed the general topics, like how our schoolwork was going and how his rat babies were. Then we progressed to what mom and dad were up to and it went off to farting and shitting. It's like the conversation is a short story: it has it's preparatory opening, the rising action and then the climax before the general closing. The climax was definitely the discussion about poop. He shared a particularly interesting story with me that I'm inclined to share (with his permission granted, of course). I tried to replicate his version as accurately as possible. I apologize if it's not exactly to your mode of storytelling, bro.

I hate taking shits in public. I think everyone does. It's awkward in general. So I walked into the public washroom on campus the other day. I was heading towards a urinal, all business, just intending to piss. All of the stalls are occupied. I mean all of them and there are about five or eight altogether. So I'm there, taking a piss and there's moaning and yelling from like three of the stalls. I'm not even kidding! They were seriously grunting and moaning while they were shitting. I'm going, 'what the fuck? Who grunts while they're taking a shit?'

This is where I kill myself laughing and start to grunt, moan and yell between gritted teeth like some guy taking a public shit. HAH. I love my brother to pieces. I won't ask you whether you grunt while you shit, publicly or privately, even though I am moderately interested in who does. Heh.