Lovelorn

Ever felt that what was right was wrong? So wrong and hard that it would hurt more to do it but be the best alternative? Ever felt something so deep and difficult that it hindered your enjoyment of everyday life? What you used to take pleasure in now seems dull. Your smile doesn't naturally extend as far as it used to, your laughter fails to resonate as frequently. The pain isn't always strong, but it's always there. There's no way to avoid it except to endure the fastidious, ritualistic days. Unsatisfactory, tedious days. Unhappy, painstaking days...

I wish I knew how he was. I'm isolated and it's killing me. A piece of me left with him. Unfortunately, it feels like the better part of me is gone and the hard, pessimistic and disillusioned portion remains. I wish I knew how to deal with it. I wish I could be happier. There's so much I want to do, but I feel like a different person so it's hard to pursue anything without hesitation.

Who was I, but an appendage of someone else? Who am I now, except an idle limb without a mind and heart to function?